Very true. According to Dr. Gabor Mate, infants need two things: to express authenticity and attachment to caregivers: if you are taught by your parents that you'll only be loved if you don't cry, you learn to repress your real self (i.e. not express your authentic true self) in order to still get the attachment you need for survival. I think it's a real tragedy in our society that too many parents expect their babies to adapt to Mom and Dad's expectations, thereby repressing the child's true self. This creates traumatized people, who in turn, end up being traumatized parents. A must-read book regarding this is Dr. Mate's most excellent "The Myth of Normal" .
On Jun 25, 2024 Colette wrote :