The one belief I have hel for my entire life is that I'm not enough. And I have lived a life driven by fear of that others believe it too. Fear of being judged, rejected, abandoned because of my utter lack of worth. I have a complex and tense relationship with most of my siblings - one more than others. Some years ago we had an encounter that did not end well - we both demonstrated some pretty unsavory behavior. I attempted to talk through it, to resolve it but their hurt and rage came out in a lengthy text detailing all of the ways that I was the problem (ie. all of the ways I wasn't enough) followed by a severing of contact. My greatest fear had come true. I was rejected for not being enough. It was painful, heartbreaking, and cathartic. I knew I could not let this belief define me any longer and I turned down a path toward healing. It opened me to a world of inner beauty I never knew existed.
On Dec 26, 2023 Stephanie Mulinos wrote :