Neale Donald Walsch 592 words, 13K views, 25 comments
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On May 27, 2023Hareshwar wrote :
In order to really explore the subject of ‘love and marriage’ OR ‘love vs. marriage’ in all its subtle nuances of meaning and implication, we must first ask some fundamental questions:
i) Is love a search of happiness or basically sharing of one’s happiness with others?
ii) If it is a search for happiness, doesn’t this mean that one is unhappy right now and hopes to become happy or happier in a relationship?
iii) An unhappy person seeking happiness is like a beggar begging for something. Can a beggar love? Or is it the privilege or gift of an ‘affluent’ person blessed with ‘abundance’? To my mind, a person with a mind or heart brimming with joy is an ‘affluent’ person—living in a state of perennial ‘abundance’.
iv) Isn’t freedom actually one of the dimensions of this joy—or isn’t joy simply one of the expressions of freedom? (Not freedom FROM something but freedom per se, meaning freedom that is the culmination of self–discovery. Not the assertive and egoistic ‘self’ but ‘authentic self’.)
v) Thus, is love ‘a relationship’ or is it essentially a state of ‘relatedness’? Feeling ‘related’ to every expression and movement of life around oneself—a bird in its flight, a smile on a face, tearful eyes of a grieving person, the western sky turning red, orange and purple at sunset, the sound of trees rustling in the breeze, and so on. This love knows no jealousy or hatred. Now, marriage! Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed and a few others are believed to have discovered Truth but when this Truth was organized, a religion was born and the fragrance of that Truth was gone. Marriage is an act of organization, and like any organization or institution, it is bound to have certain rules, restraints and constraints implying commitment, fidelity, reciprocation, expectation, etc. If someone feels stifled by such factors, why marry at all? Why not move along the course of life like a breeze with commitments to none in particular.
To fall in love with somebody is a beautiful human experience but that is not love. Love is not lust or attachment. Love between parents and their children or between siblings has different nuances and flavors but there is some commonality. It is up to them to find out if that is sheer love or different shades of attachment. You can discharge all your duties and responsibilities towards any `member` of your family without having the flame of love burning in your heart. The essence of love is the feeling that the other is more important than myself. It is altruism but you don’t consciously practice altruism.
On May 27, 2023 Hareshwar wrote :
i) Is love a search of happiness or basically sharing of one’s happiness with others?
ii) If it is a search for happiness, doesn’t this mean that one is unhappy right now and hopes to become happy or happier in a relationship?
iii) An unhappy person seeking happiness is like a beggar begging for something. Can a beggar love? Or is it the privilege or gift of an ‘affluent’ person blessed with ‘abundance’? To my mind, a person with a mind or heart brimming with joy is an ‘affluent’ person—living in a state of perennial ‘abundance’.
iv) Isn’t freedom actually one of the dimensions of this joy—or isn’t joy simply one of the expressions of freedom? (Not freedom FROM something but freedom per se, meaning freedom that is the culmination of self–discovery. Not the assertive and egoistic ‘self’ but ‘authentic self’.)
v) Thus, is love ‘a relationship’ or is it essentially a state of ‘relatedness’? Feeling ‘related’ to every expression and movement of life around oneself—a bird in its flight, a smile on a face, tearful eyes of a grieving person, the western sky turning red, orange and purple at sunset, the sound of trees rustling in the breeze, and so on. This love knows no jealousy or hatred. Now, marriage! Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed and a few others are believed to have discovered Truth but when this Truth was organized, a religion was born and the fragrance of that Truth was gone. Marriage is an act of organization, and like any organization or institution, it is bound to have certain rules, restraints and constraints implying commitment, fidelity, reciprocation, expectation, etc. If someone feels stifled by such factors, why marry at all? Why not move along the course of life like a breeze with commitments to none in particular.
To fall in love with somebody is a beautiful human experience but that is not love. Love is not lust or attachment. Love between parents and their children or between siblings has different nuances and flavors but there is some commonality. It is up to them to find out if that is sheer love or different shades of attachment. You can discharge all your duties and responsibilities towards any `member` of your family without having the flame of love burning in your heart. The essence of love is the feeling that the other is more important than myself. It is altruism but you don’t consciously practice altruism.