Oh, I love this story! It is beautiful and I totally understand. It reminds me of my grandmother, who was born in 1899 and lived to be 98. Her personality was the opposite of your father - she was matter-of-fact and had an air of confidence & strength about her - but she treated everyone the same. You felt respected (or scared if you were a small child) when she addressed you because she would be right to the point and with an insightful observation. I was the scared small child around her when I was 6-8 years old, but when I was 16-18 years old, I lived with her. She hadn't changed, I had. And I found her matter-of-fact strength to be the first truly unconditional love I'd ever experienced. She didn't judge - she offered her insightful view. Yes, she was ahead of her time. Years later, in her 90's, she had a map of the middle east on her kitchen cabinets -long before computers or internet - because she was trying to keep track of which countries bordered whic countries. She watched Parliament sessions on TV, when most women her age were watching soap operas. She was of the world and in it. Unabashedly. And treated everyone the same - whether they were intimidated or saw it as unconditional love - it didn't matter to her. She was unapologetically present, and as I've gone through life and sometimes reflect on insecurities I've had at times in my life, I could only hope to channel Nanny's strength of character. And in reading your story, I can only imagine what she would have done with that knife in her side - but fear would not have been part of it, that I know. Thank you for so beautifully sharing this story - it's inspiring, entertaining, and beautifully written.
Thank you, Bonnie, for this eloquent, compassionate and wise sharing of insight around shame. I know that on my own spiritual path, as well as in my teaching - anger, fear, and sadness are evident and ask to be worked with, but shame is a quiet sneaky one that is often unacknowledged - but when one can do the deep work - releasing (and maybe even discovering) it, can be one of the most rewarding experiences. You have here given us all more inspiration to examine, let go, and reframe. Thank you!
On Feb 5, 2024 Stephanie Nash wrote on When My Father Faced An Emergency, by Nora Bateson: