What makes life precious for me is feeling. Feeling connection, inspired by creativity and beauty. And I guess I have to accept impermanence because people and plants do not last and things naturally deteriorate. I miss a lot of loves that have disembodied and cherish memories. I guess I appreciate impermanence when my tears flow or I laugh out loud as some memory wells up in my heart.
Hmmmm! I love recognizing my needs and moving toward meeting them and I realize that if I stop moving toward fulfilling needs
that I am bathing in love and my gratitude exceeds my expectations, so I am not only satisfied but ecstatic. Today I would have enjoyed love making with my partner. It was not the right time or energy for her and I went for a bike ride and enjoyed my breathing, and body moving, and the stream and mountains and flowers and trees. I guess I loved being in Calm passion with beauty. What helps me weed out the causes of suffering is that when I catch myself complaining, or suffering it is not nearly as much fun as finding joy and beauty in my friends, and music, and peace.
Yikes! Perfectionism? Even the humans we may model ourselves after, the one's we hold as having lived the most admirable lives had flaws. So, I am being the most perfect me that I know how to be. I love myself unconditionally right now. I have missed the mark of full honesty with my beloved partner due to following what might be an addictive shadow. And I suffer and learn. What helps me to accept those messy yet teachable parts of me is my hearts desire for peace. If I am playing my part in co-creating the peaceful world that I want to live in then I first can be at peace.
Where I AM From
Where I come from the alphabet is composed of 186 million stones
Which are never enough to spell out how we really feel.
I come from under but I also come from over and most of all come from within.
When my zygote formed there were genes from so many stars and water molecules
And the room was so overflowing with uncles and aunties
That we had to rent another planet for my reception.
I’m from a place where gravity is acknowledged but usually ignored.
We hear music so deep in our skin that we do not need to eat for years at a time.
The dance we create is a call to all the organisms to join our ebullient ecumenical colony.
The song I sing rings out like Himalayan bells punctuated by scat solos and throat chants
Taught in Kivas and caves that could express grief or the only other possibility. This place that I am from would never care or even notice what you wear.
We love playing with our stones and arranging and rearranging them
So that the smell of their colors, and the taste of their emanations
Produces something so new that every metamorphosis from every cocoon
Is such a unique expression that even we can not imagine the ecstatic beauty that is Without any doubt
Evolving.
Hmmmmm? Inhabiting my body implies a sense of separation. It would be like the Me that I identify with is living in a housing unit called my body. At this moment, I noticed my breathing. My hand resting on my belly rose higher and then lower as something breezy passed in and out of my mouth. I felt temperature and moisture changes on my lips, tongue, and throat. I heard a sucking and a whooshing. i noticed my pulse, a heart rhythm. i became aware of energizing of increase pleasure on my skin, in my fingers, my toes, my contact with the bed that is supporting me and the weight of my laptop on my ribs as they expand and contract. my middle finger on the letters of this alphabet creating these words that are appearing to my eyes and brain from this screen.
attention.
Fascinating seed questions but first I wonder if Robert really gave away a home? That is a big giveaway.
When I see the words "gateless gate" I think of "Gate Gate Para Gate Parasam Gate Bodhi Svaha" - going across a gulf from duality to unity- one form of enlightenment( often fleeting for me) though I see " a living world " constantly and that feels like "awakeness" to me. Every breath I am aware of my connection to the plants who are giving off the oxygen and my contribution to the life and safety and sustainability and joy of my beloved community.
Ahhh- I took mind -body unity so seriously that I devoted my life to it and became a wholistic physical therapist. In 40 years of working with clients I have not seen one yet where the emotional/ spiritual has not played a role in an injury and a recovery.
I had a long time knee problem that was treated by every type of physical care imaginable and resolved only when I connected my inner child work related to standing on my own 2 feet. My mother's chemistry contained tragic death traumas that I took on and I am constantly aware of finding balance between my desire to "make her happy" and listening to my own inner needs. One aspect of the "spiritual" part of listening and finding balance is in being part of the whole of nature and all the elements. Another is in my mantras. " I forgive myself, I forgive everybody and everything else" and " more Me, that's not mine". What helps me stay vigilant with this investigation is that it works.
Being a word nerd, I look at contextually and feel that I am with the texture of an ally. And natures web of life is the textured ally that guides me most so I am almost always in "solidarity with all life". However, I am unfortunately "realistic" also. So, I view the consciousness raising work as if I were delivering a tanker truck full of water to a precious flower in the desert, aware that I alone can not make the whole desert bloom, yet with a vision that WE WILL ALL WAKE UP soon.
Ahhhh! fully grieving the "grandeur" of loss and allowing "bewilderment"- seems like I rarely allow myself to go there but when I do , when I am on the earth wailing and weeping, when I accept how what feels like my great efforts and successes to heal myself and my world make such imperceptible progress toward my mission statement and true peace, I am humbled and leave room to fill with the joy and love of being human and alive.
My “business” is physical therapy. My spiritual path is “ the path of the heart”.
Easy to combine. As a wholistic physical therapist I feel may role is to open others to self care and self love.
Following our bliss to wholeness.
Being reminded of what of me is conditioned and what is authentic is a wake up call. I have many strong urges to be and act more than I am or do that I restrain due to what others consider appropriate. What I say and when and how I say it. What I wear. Where I walk and do not walk. Where I swim and do not swim. When I dance or how I dance.
I have been sharing my poetry on controversial topics more and more. Sharing the importance of nature and goddess worship toward reversing the warrior cult we live in.
What stop me is having the energy and composure to deal with reactive ness.
Hmmm- I appreciate what Eric is exploring here, however my experience is that there are many variables in the way I have formed and continue to create “ a true self” that accepts my needs and is learning how to meet needs. The basics for me is to love and be loved. The complexities come from self doubt and fear which have formed from experiences as diverse as my mother’s hormones , dysfunctional teachers and neighbors and on going world events.
Learning Marshall Rosenberg’s compassionate communication model has helped me and I think has revolutionary potential for change.
Ok-I am not sure if there ever is any absolute “truth”. If I listen with my beliefs or judgements and do not step back to hear what may be a new perspective or an uncomfortable perspective then I will certainly not be really listening.
If I listen deeper, I drop my preconceived views and show empathy for the “speaker”.
When I hear “ you were the world “ the song “we are the world” , we are the children enters my consciousness and the meaning of “ making a better world” because I care about the future for 7 generations or much more.
That would be the motivation for me to make challenging changes, break habits or patterns that may be in the way of more love, peace, compassion, providing safety and basic needs to all.
Ahhhh! Heady stuff. This morning in predawn I listened to bird song then enjoyed 4 gentle deer grazing as I read a sweet letter from a dear friend in Sweden
Here in Eureka Springs Arkansas.
Her message was heartfelt and blended well with the birdsong and deer in the trees. And then the cup of tea that my beloved delivered and the intimate poem we read relating to a political prisoner.
So all of that and a world of experiences are all flowing together in me at this moment as I return to my breath , a sip of tea,my lover’s warm embrace, a kiss, her eyes and smile.
hmmm! I do not accept diagnosis or prognosis after working in medical field and seeing how skewed they can be. So, I would probably say I did not want one. Fortunately, I have not been given one . I admire Suleika's response to diagnosis and ability to reframe it and see the value. I am not much on jewelry and a cancer diagnosis does not seem mundane. When I have experienced what felt like significant losses or insults and found myself "wallowing" in anger and resentment I noted that others got tired of me and I eventually got bored with myself and realized that what I feel is a choice. Anger has rarely been useful. Sorrow however if it is good earthy grief can be helpful until I choose joy and acceptance again.
I find the "notion" of never being alone comforting, however I know that people who are suffering are often unable to experience that. One wound that many humans carry is "abandonment". When life gets tough the experience is, " No one loves me", " I have been abandoned by my family, friends, and God" . I move beyond that constantly by returning to my breath and choosing to see the best in the world and others. And loving myself.
Hmm- Well, I am not a monk or nun, so I guess my perspective is as a lay person. My current personal mission statement is: " I co-create a community that is safe, sustainable, growthful, and joyous by being honest and following my bliss". So, I lead Dances of Universal Peace, am cochairperson for our Interfaith Roundtable group, sing in Sacred Earth Choir, and offer services like free physical therapy, moving assistance, and other social work in our community. I do my best while also taking care of my personal needs. I love the extended family I am part of most of the time. There are big challenges when people do things that I find to be incomprehensibly wrong, mean. So , I am learning to keep going while forgiving others and myself. I use a mantra- MORE ME, That's NOT MINE- so, yes I am a cell and I do my part for the whole being even when the health of the larger being looks dubious-
After experiencing years of embarrassment, shame, frustration, fear, and anger as a child and young adult , I have mostly achieved personal peace. I continue to believe that we will achieve world peace despite current evidence of the opposite. I felt great peace yesterday as I gave a healing session to and older woman friend. As I instructed her in use of visualization for healthier breathing I became completely immersed in the peace of us being together. Being in the garden, the ocean, the forest, the waterfall, bicycling, love making were all times of great peace this week. One part of article that I noticed was " A well developed mind- not subservient to the five senses". I have a different view of that idea. We have many more senses than 5. I can count at least 50 types of sensory information and when experiencing all these senses I am much more a part of the web of life than my thinking. Expanding into multidimensional experience helps me go beyond my mind.
Much to ponder in Michael Gordon's essay and in the reflections I have read so far. Beginning with the exploration of time: What is the need that is met by marking time with clocks and even calendars. If we just woke up each day and did what we love to do and need to do for survival and rested when we needed to and ate when we needed to and shared what we could in both a material way and an intellectual, creative, and emotional way, that may eliminate a need for what has become "economics".
The fitness that has aided my survival most was taught to me by Baba Hari Das. He told me silently that my "business" depended on my "social life". When I take time to really deeply connect with other humans and help in any way I am able, I have received all that I need.
Ahhhhh! I am revisiting this conversation and going a bit deeper. Reviewing all those questions with the mind that thinks and represents itself as me most of the time. Then I wonder who the I is that thinks. When that I quiets or steps aside, there is something else that feels , something that feels or experiences more or at least differently.
Hmmmm? is that my soul?
On Oct 17, 2024 stream wrote on Why Do We Send Flowers?, by Alisha Gorder: