All Comments By

It seems you already know what it takes to heal.

You need sanctuary, as in a good friend whom you can trust, or the good friend is one that recognizes what you need is a refuge. I know because when recovery is necessary, you need those around who have been down there. They already see your struggle reflecting back, and know exactly where you are, which is among those of us at the bottom of a well. The light in your eyes has dimmed and you don't want to explain it all. The echo is heard by those who have sunken so low, trauma, addiction, lack of love etc... You see, they are your safe harbor. They are present to listen in silence, provide food, water and shelter. But above all, it is unconditional love which sees your hand reaching out for help, the echo, and/or the tired eyes. You need your basic needs met first before you can find your one "Holy Moment" of hope to give. Recovery begins with those who have been down in the "Well of Grief." They get it while others may not understand. They are the "Four Horses" that I have finally heard the distant beat of a drum. They have been there and done it. They know you need a team to lift you up and set you on your glorious, "Holy Moment" pathway. They find the proper blend of care you require. A warm, caring environment that opens a door to your beckoning hand, the warmth of shelter and care.

It is a lonely place to live without one, golden friend to walk by your side. Yes, I finally began with a beautiful sunrise over Mt. Hood yesterday. I have been a bit freaked out and just need to be held. Sharing space with the human race was a beginning yesterday. Food carts are the way to go. Arrive as you are and just hang out. To have one, good friend is golden. This can be compounded. You know, the rule of 72.

Forgiveness and the recognition of eternal love. We are vessels of that love. In forgiveness, eternal love is an expression bestowed upon the one who is being forgiven. May the gift be received and adopted as a blessing to carry forward in their own life (lives). Forgiveness is the only way for me to move forward and contribute my own way of life, fully embraced as an expression of eternal love as “One.”

I not only feel controlled in marriage but seemingly by the entire world. I am currently dazed, confused, and listless.