As simplistic as it sounds, following the road of the Golden Rule has helped me to know the difference between a closed heart and an open one. In one particular instance I had to deal with my anger when an employee who was responsible for taking care of my dogs, didn't follow my instructions and one of my dog's was killed. I wanted to fire her immediately and say really rough comments. I thought about the Rule. I waited to respond until I was sure I could speak with an open heart and a calm voice. It took some time but I finally sat down and expressed myself the way I would want someone to speak to me; with respect and honesty for both of us.
I have an employee who recklessly disregarded my instructions and one of my dogs was killed. Her responsibility was to care and protect them. I couldn't talk to her at first and the only thing that kept me from screaming at her was all the good and valuable work she had done over the past 12 years. So I sought advice from friends and solace from them at this devastating loss and when I felt I could speak of it all with her which was 2 weeks later, I did and asked her for her feelings and thoughts about it all first. Then I expressed mine, clearly and righteously. I was able to have my feelings and also came away with a clearer understanding of who she is. We are forging a new and different relationship now and I came away with a lighter feeling having expressed my hurt, anger, and thoughts in a clear way.
On Jul 13, 2013 Marsha wrote on Processing Anger With An Open Heart, by John Robbins and Ann Mortifee:
As simplistic as it sounds, following the road of the Golden Rule has helped me to know the difference between a closed heart and an open one. In one particular instance I had to deal with my anger when an employee who was responsible for taking care of my dogs, didn't follow my instructions and one of my dog's was killed. I wanted to fire her immediately and say really rough comments. I thought about the Rule. I waited to respond until I was sure I could speak with an open heart and a calm voice. It took some time but I finally sat down and expressed myself the way I would want someone to speak to me; with respect and honesty for both of us.