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I feel like repeating it all these years has led to a thickening of the layer of this new thought but the reality that I do still get swayed and biased by people's looks has not changed.

While I know intelletually and also from reflecting on the past that I am being taken care of by a greater force and that things are happening on their own and there is some level of surrender in my life there is also a lot of fear of uncertainty and change. It feels like there's a deeper being that has not fully understood or accepted certain things yet.