All Comments By

I remember taking a workshop with Lynne Twist in Santa Fe, NM. At the time, I was an Executive Director of a small non-profit, forever in search of financial support. Lynne was so enthusiastic about what fundraisers get to do; provide opportunities for people with resources to give to those who need the resources for programs of value. She explained that non-profits were conduits for creating a better, more just world. I so appreciated that vantage point, though found it hard to sustain. Shifting from asking (which felt like convincing people to sustain our operations so we could do programming) still felt like an ask, with my hands extending to receive, rather than two hands coming together in shared gratitude; the perfect union between those with money and those with worthy projects. Hats off to those who do this kind of work gracefully and successfully.

This reminds me of the coin toss, which often tells us our retroactive intuition. At least the heads or tails of the coin reveal first impulse. For me, this is what’s tricky between ego and inner voice. Because of decades of brain/behaviour patterning, that “intuitive voice” has been conditioned, just as the ego has appreciated strokes from certain behaviors. The power to please has been ingrained. How will my decision impact orhers? What about… a, b, c?… won’t he or she or they be hurt, left out as a result of my proceeding with what I feel is most true. Can’t I let this go and be fine when another I care for needs the support? And that’s where the wheel of indecision takes root in my psyche. Hence, the going in… and the realization that instinct and circumstance and sheer luck or kizmet has brought me to a decision point. The precipice of decision, is where the one waiting for me is my internal question of allowing what can become a deeper generosity; an expansion of love, expression and growth. This movement is how I am in discovering a new position of internal power.