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This , for me, was one of the finest passages I read in Awakin Readings.... It helps us understand the dignity of grief, suffering, loss, and even Grace of God inherent even in those defeated in Life. Except Jesus, no other god-characters have truly won. They sacrificed spiritual victory to gain the historical victory in the worldly game. I feel a dignity of Divine in the Story of Christ who followed what he saw as Truth and found resurrection. He had to experience crucifixion and express bewildering - Father, why hast thou forsaken me? Thy will be done. This was the greatest expression of love from a human character in the Story for the Author of the Story. Here, Human won the Game, if we put it in such frivolous terms, against even God. Human transcended the confines put by Author by not trying to win and accepting defeat totally with no grievance and complete love. One friend once told me just suddenly - Acceptance is Grace. I understand the meaning of those words now, clearly. Jesus embodied the Holy Spirit the moment he did - Thy will be done. Acceptance is Surrender and Let-Go. We can only Let-Go what we accept as it is. We free our soul through acceptance. This can only be understood intuitively and not logically and by reasoning it out in Thought. Thought ends here and some deeper intelligence takes over from here which is God.

Poor treatment socially versus the concrete evidence of reality where I do something which feels intuitively correct and it works out in a splendid manner and my rivals also had to appreciate or they stopped their harassment and bullying. My victory several times in life showing me to be a Hero being backed by God ... Only I tend to not play fully for myself when God is actually on my side. God needs happiness. If He doesn't find it with you He will experience through other doors. Fault is not God's.... Only ours when we hurt ourselves by holding ourselves back. The abundance of God is for everyone, just we need to know the right way to take it and enjoy it. God simply likes us happy and whole Life and Existence for enjoyment together i.e. God celebrating Existence with us. Us who are visible and God the Invisible Spirit permeating this Creation which is His Life. We make God happy by enjoying the goodness of Life in all possible ways. So, Go and Have Fun and Yes.... Win! At the Game of Life... For yourself. You are the Love Child of the Universe.... Each one of us. Celebrate together!

Repeated failures in Life made me silent and attentive to reality and assists me to stay with my Mess and yet learn to not give in to self loathing. Instead learn to love all of me. Only this way of being will help us understand the mammoth of emotional energy flowing in others as they manage to preserve their self worth through brutal world we have made outside. My day dreaming is assisting me to show how it is possible to live in such harsh conditions with Love and give subtle tweaks to the layer of reality leading to saner results. I am an artist of Life learning the way to co-author my life with God. I realised to drop all assumptions about future and my own self, first. Meet reality without assumptions like justice happens, good wins, judging about karmas of my own as well as others I remember to live focusing on my work while engaging with world in a meaningful and a sane way by being more conscious of my actions by thoughts, speech, and behaviour. To learn to remain loving in face of abuse, bullying, hostility, and rejection and not give in to poison. This is my present practice.

It was late 2008 or early 2009. I was studying in a Master's program at the city of Vadodara. I dropped a friend going home at weekend via train and was returning back to my solitary room. I was feeling lot of anxiety on account of pending homework and reports to be finished. I started to walk slowly without thinking or worrying about how i was appearing outside. It was late evening and dark anyway. As I slowed my walk, my breathing, I could sense calming and aligning with my footsteps. I felt massaged in my feet as I walked slowly putting feet properly on the ground. By the time I reached hostel, I felt renewed by my walking activity and felt calm and serene. It felt, the word is .... Deeply satisfying. I was practising Tantra Techniques since 3 to 4 months then. This moment was culmination of all effort of past 4 months into an incredible experience of peace.

To me groundlessness connotes something frightening. To be grounded even in groundlessness is what I aim towards. Groundlessness is a feeling of anxiety. What helps me confront such an existence and experience is accepting it and finding a space of steadfastness during the experience by way of deep breath, by allowing attention to be over some object for a time, by watching the world as if for the first time. I am more of a visual person. Seeing the benign nature of objects. The world is truly beautiful even in its changing and spiralling-out of control-nature. This Beauty found in practice of Suchness helps me to find roots even in chaos. It is denoted best in a Zen Story known as Tigers and the Strawberries.

What helps me to take it in is good stories such as The Wheel of Time presently. Apart from that, the concept of Suchness in Buddhist philosophy helps. I make it a personal training in Focus to bring my mind, as it wanders in forests of pain, back to the Pool of Suchness. Returning to The Peace of the Present Moment.

What helps me dare to believe a different world is possible is my own desire and ability to dream a different life in my imagination.

I am so grateful for it.

Also things such as nuggets of wisdom and a vision hidden in the works of Arts especially the fiction I read and Osho, Lao Tzu, The Book of Mirdad, etc.

The Idiot and Some excerpts from The Brothers Karamazov especially content of Father Zossima in works of Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

​​​​​​The desire to connect to God and serve him for the reward of Entry into his World of Peace and Bliss permanently.

Present Story World is a Testing Ground for Performance which may help us to lead to the Better Dimension, a Better Life after this one.