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PLEASE TAKE THIS AS MY OPINION ONLY:  the spirit you are asking for is one that is separate from you.  You want to trust the spirit and let it lead you, but you don't want to lose yourself...THIS IS FEAR.  The biggest fear I've noticed in human beings is the fear of 'loss of self.'  Everyone has a self and nobody knows anything without the filter of the self.  Would you still want to be led by the spirit if it meant losing yourself?  That means you wouldn't have your life's memories, you wouldn't know your friends or your family, you wouldn't even know who you are...but you would be completely led by the spirit.  Are you willing to give up your sense of self in order to be a vessel of the spirit?  You wouldn't even know it once you gave up yourself, because you wouldn't be you anymore.

NOW, ONCE YOU ARE OKAY WITH GIVING UP YOUR SELF THEN YOU CAN BECOME ONE WITH THE SPIRIT...WHO YOU WILL REALIZE IS NOT ACTUALLY SEPARATE FROM YOU BUT WAS WITHIN YOU ALL ALONG.  NOW THAT YOU'VE DESTROYED THE FEAR OF THE LOSS OF SELF, THE SPIRIT CAN WAKE UP AND BE.

 Love is such a tricky thing to define.  I would probably classify it as a state of being rather than an emotion.  It is much more than an emotion.  Things we commonly mistake for love are :affection, desire, lust, familiarity, interest, infatuation, want.  Love is none of these.  Instead these are all different versions of fear.  Love is more like acceptance without expectance.  Love wants nothing, not even to be requited.  Love is not full, it is the emptiness...that's why it is impossible to hold on to.  Love is not a feeling but the purest of motives.