My primary partner and I have been together for 45 years. We have been married for 44. The description of the relationship cannot be captured by a handful of words - good - bad - challenging, supportive, etc. It is neither a success or a failure that we are still together. Whatever challenges or problems we have arise from our inability to bridge certain differences, and not the constraints of our marriage contract. Neither of us seeks freedom or personal fulfillment. For some of us, perhaps many of us, finding deep intimacy and deep connection is elusive and challenging. Creating a new marriage contract is unlikely to make much difference. Focusing on personal freedom and fulfillment may make us less free and fulfilled. Connecting with beauty, abundance, joy, playfulness and delight might help, but I certainly do not have much wisdom in these matters.
These days I use the word connection and intimacy more than love. Alienation and isolation leave us sad, depressed, angry, etc. We then behave in ways that make the dis-ease of disconnection worse. And we live in our minds perhaps more than our heart-stomach-gut feelings and emotions. So many dimensions to love, so many forms of connection. I feel a lot of cerebral connections and affirmation but very little physical, visceral, sexual connection. I have not been very successful at improving that form of connection in my life. Any thoughts? Haha.....
We try to understand our feelings with our minds. Perhaps we need to just feel - just be present in feeling and respond without so much mental intervention. It seems we favor thinking over feeling. But even these words are mental analysis. perhaps our communication of feelings needs more body language and natural sounds rather than mind mediated conventional speaking. What do you think? HaHa ...
On Jun 1, 2023 bobg wrote on Irony Of Marriage, by Neale Donald Walsch: