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Heng Ch'au
San Simeon
Friday
March 10,1978
A row of motels and a gas station with "sundries" for sale, strung together with pink neon flashing "vacancy," "bar and grill" and souvenirs" signs. It's the last town for miles south of Los Padres national forest. We still need gas tanks and topographical maps for the backcountry. Route uncertain. When in doubt, bow, don't think.
Big storm predicted never hit yesterday. It rained all night, though, from the time we stop bowing until 6.30 AM.
Last night we camped in a large field away from the main road. It was dark and overcast. No houses or traffic, so quiet one could hear the fog.
About 1:00 Am, I snapped awake to the sound of slow, heavy steps in the mud outside. First there was just one, but them more came from other directions. The steps stopped right next to the car. Then came deep, slow breathing. We were surrounded. I could hear it on all sides. I tensed and didn't dare move. They were groaning deeply and grunting as they moved in. suddenly the car began to shake violently. No group of people could move the car like this. Panic and fear hit. Heng Sure was jolted out of sleep but he car bouncing and shaking. The matches were wet so we couldn't light the lamp. I reached for the flashlight but the batteries were dead.
Finally we got the flashlight working. I timidly shined it out the window as a huge face pressed up against the glass inches from my head. What was it? A big black and white dairy cow.
A herd of cows had come to check out and were using the 1950'ish space fins and finders of the Plymouth to rub against and scratch themselves. The cows were as surprised to see us as we were to see them. They turned and stampeded back into the night.
Emotion is deadly. In the flower adornment sutra prologue it says,
"When emotion is produced, Wisdom is cut off."
As soon as the seven emotions of joy, anger, sadness, fear, love, hate, or desire arise, they cut off wisdom. Our original bright wisdom seems to be lost, but it has only been forgotten, covered over by the darkness of emotion. Wisdom turns into monstrous goblins in our minds. Our emotions are so heavy they press our wisdom into the ground like the weighty cows pressing their hoofs into the mud.
Later the Master responded to this incident, laughing, and saying,
"If you understood true principle then there's nothing at all to be afraid of. It's all made form the mind. Because You didn't have matches for light, people Feared the cows. Once you had matches, the cows feared the people. Basically there's nothing at all in the world; People make all their own troubles. Do you believe me? So it's said, 'If you view what is strange as not strange, then strangeness naturally explains itself."
That's just how it was, all made from the mind. Fear eclipsed wisdom. We followed our dark understanding and got turned by appearances making everything come out upside down.
"Of all the dharmas you see in the world, the mind is the only host; Following what you understand you grasp at appearances. This is upside down and not the real Thing." -- Avatamsaka sutra