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Heng Sure
I went into the Cambria Laundromat to pick up our brown basin and soap dish and encountered a big, curly-haired man in stylish overalls-drunk and unhappy with his first look at me.
"You got change for a quarter?"
I gesture "no money."
He doesn't understand. "Does that mean no?"
Suddenly I realized that this guy was hostile and getting hot. I could have shook my head 'no' and smiled, but I felt attached and I went on the defensive. Not talking, the best I could do was pill back and give no edge. I retreated with my washbasin, feeling inadequate. My vibes were not yielding-the guy had turned me and I felt like a little kid pouting in the cat. After all these months of taking insults on the road, as soon as you stop bowing you stop being compassionate, hey? Phooey. What kind of patience is this?
Went back in after evening ceremonies to help fold the laundry. Here are Heng Ch'au and Kuo Chau; oh, oh, there's the guy again. Kuo Chou has smelled the alcohol and has cautiously withdrawn. Heng Ch'au, fearless and compassionate, has met the man face to face. Heng Ch'au has explained that I hold a vow of silence. The guy is trying to get a rise out of Heng Ch'au
Man: "Yeah? What for?"
Heng Ch'au: "For concentration."
Man: "That's no big deal. He gets twice as tired using all that sign language."
Heng Ch'au: "No, he's just being quiet."
Man: "What kind of monks are you?"
Heng Ch'au: "Buddhists."
Man: "What's the Buddha? Who's the Buddha? He your big god?"
Heng Ch'au: "No, the Buddha is the best part of you inside. The part that is kind, the part that figures stuff out."
Man: "Always doing good, that kind of stuff?"
Heng Ch'au: "Yeah, something like that."
Man: "Figures what out?"
Heng Ch'au: "Where you came from, where you're going. Who you were before you were born."
Man: (silence)
Man: "You guys aren't very evangelistic, are you?"
Heng Ch'au: "No. Everyone's got the same questions. They'll want answers sooner or later. There's no use pushing-like fruit on a tree, when it's ripe it will fall. Everyone will find the answers sooner or later."
Man: "What are you doing it for?"(Considerably more quiet and mellow)
Heng Ch'au: "To calm things down. To cool things off. To end fighting."
Man: "For yourselves?"
Heng Ch'au: "We start there bit we're doing it for everybody. There are too many bad vibes floating around."
Man: (half-heartedly) "Well you ought to try Jesus...."
Subdued, he stared at us through the window as we drove away.
Here is the magic of Buddhism as it changes us all, as it opens the hearts of Americans. In five minutes if straight talk, Heng Ch'au used the Buddha dharma to turn this dark and sullen men back in to a living being. He was full if fear and vulnerable. The dharma transformed a potential fight into a leaning experience for each one of us.
Heng Ch'au's comments: I saw a lonely man doing his washing late at night in a vacation town where it's tough to be alone. He was pretty sad. He'd been down to the local tavern, so you know he was scared inside. I felt for the guy. His big, tough-guy approach was an act to cover his fear. People approach us on the defensive. It's not easy to ask questions of bald, robe wearing strangers. There's this mystique, especially with your silence. People are afraid we'll blow them down, that they wont be able to stand up to us, so they a=come on either tough and hard or totally passive and Yin.
It's like the truth we discovered on Labor Day about the men who hazed us. They were uptight about their big decisions and changes coming up with the end if the summer, it's the ones who are closest to their own pain who yell the loudest. These are people who are ready and looking for the Buddha dharma.
I explained how I had tuned the man out in the Laundromat. I had withdrawn and retreated before his hostile vibes.
Heng Ch'au replied, "That won't do it. Here's what I learned from working in the psych-wards in the hospitals in Wisconsin. 1) Get right in there and deal with the person where he's at. Don't be afraid to get in close. When people see that you're not afraid of them, they feel secure and they relax. If people feel judged or slighted, like you're standing back, you've lost them right there.
2) Totally ignore pain. They tune in to the healthy part, the yang energy. Quickly zero in on something positive about the person, "Look what's healthy here."Talk to that.
3) Here's the best part. The Buddha dharma is elastic. Everyone is inside of it. No one can hear the Buddha dharma and not feel it in their hearts. It's so true and so right. Talk the dharma. Answer straight. It works every time. Find the healthy part in people and talk to where it's coming from. Is it pink or blue or green? Use pink or blue or green dharma. Intellectual? Happy? Subdued? Talk that kind of dharma. It's magic. For example "Compassion. Don't get angry. Patience. Kindness. Giving. Happiness. Concentration. Peace. Don't be selfish." People hear these words deep inside. These are the words to put out fires and really bring more peace into being.
I've seen it work many times now on the pilgrimage, peace making at the grassroots level.
The venerable Abbot speaks:
"You two may not get angry no matter what. Don't fight, inside or outside. This will be very important for Buddhism in America. Buddhists will be Known as the ones who don't ever got Angry. Practice the perfection of Patience everywhere. All the time."