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HENG CH’AU: June 26, 1977. Dream: The master was showing a group of us (Sangha and laypeople) the ways and dangers of raveling the River. The biggest danger and snag is fear. If there’s no fear, instead a trust, then the original nature is like water (accord with conditions but don’t change, change with conditions but always accord). I fell in a swift current while Shih Fu was demonstrating but tried to follow the Master’s advice from shore--I went over a dangerous waterfall and rolled out and up onto a highway, walking along where there were only fast cars and trucks--I was able to find a safe way without effort. Earlier part of the dream was in a city and I was able to jump and fly like I was weightless. I could be heavy or light at will. Killing: I have two big regrets from childhood. 1) was catching bees and embalming them with alcohol in the over 2) was killing a little bird with my BB gun. It was the first and the last. It made a sick. I was told and led to believe a gun and the hunt were exciting; the thing one did to be a "man." So one day on the farm I shot a little bird. It collapsed and swung around on the line, hanging upside down by its feet. I couldn’t believe it. I felt cheated, tricked. Killing was horrible. I lost something that day, something precious. And it did not make me feel like a "man."
When I was older and some men took me hunting with shotguns for a rite of passage, I purposely fumbled and missed everything I shot at. They knew. They never took me again. I never went again. I will never forget that day--every day is as vivid as yesterday and the karma tastes bitter and feels heavy. Ants! One bow down and come up, hands covered with ants. Sleeping in a bag in the van my legs are still covered with ant bites. We sat to rest next to a tree with strange moving bark. The tree was swarming with ants. How does a living being get reborn as billions of ants? False thoughts and actions. Be careful.
Three or four sheriff’s cars loaded with deputies passed, honking and waving. One carful all had their hands folded pretending to pray and bow. The tension and bad vibes have turned, we are on good terms, at last.
False thought: What if instead of guns, al police needed to do to keep order was put their hands together and remind people of their vows, precepts. People in turn would respond with, "Oh, right! Sorry, I forgot--got a little greedy." For bigger infractions they might have to get out and bow or recite mantras aloud. Why not? We just met our first Taoist cop. It’s just a question of time. "In Amitabha’s land not even the names of the three evil ways exist, how much the less their actuality." A country of five precept holders would be just that--so we told the police in a friendly conversation, "We mean to put you out of a job."