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HENG SURE: June 16, 1977. Seen from the road: Malibu fences on the hi-way have signs to keep out strangers.
Beware of Dog!
Beware of big Cat!
Danger! Pet snakes!
Security by Westinghouse.
We ask: have you had any responses? That deserves a detailed answer. No I haven’t seen the Buddha and not because it doesn’t work like it says in the Avantamsaka but because I don’t yet deserve to see the Buddha. My good roots are not yet ripe and deep enough. Why do I say this? I have had some responses on my own level. That is, I have clearly seen these last two days how thoroughly bad my karma has been. In this life alone I have created enormous heaps of bad deeds, mostly with sex, drugs, and lying. Until these deeds are well repented of and until my behavior changes for the better long enough to balance out the time I was misbehaving, I don’t expect any transcendent states to occur. It would be like asking a dog to play the piano or a silk worm to sit up and talk about baseball.
Every time I bow and return the light vigorously I undercover fresh memories of painful episodes in which my selfish desires lead people into harmful actions--purely out of selfish lust and self-seeking. There has been a response: I have not had my head blown off or been eaten by demons…yet. That I have been allowed to cultivate the Way is a miracle in itself; let’s not look for any "states." The school Instilling Virtue is tremendously important and the principles of virtue, chastity and obedience to one’s parents are priceless reassures. I only wish I had gone to Instilling Virtue Elementary School. I would not have wasted all my own cultivation roots nor would I have brought pain to do many others.
And I have surely injured my own brain with smoke and chemicals, as surely as if I had buried a precious sword in the mud for six years. When the sword is finally pulled from the mud, it won’t cut very much. It has to be re-forged, has to find a new edge and be re-honed. Hopefully the steel has not lost its tempering. I don’t look for unconditioned realization until this process has taken its long, slow time. That I can work on the sword is itself a great gift.
So have I had any responses? Yes, I have. I have not been able to fly, nor to run. I don’t yet know how to walk, but I’m practicing my bowing and slowly, surely, under the patient, compassionate guidance of a good and wise teacher, I am learning how to stand.
My heart is full of shame but my mind is at rest with my life. I would rather be a bhikshu disciple of the Venerable Master Hua, working to brig Buddhism to this world and to my own life than be doing any other job or work or walking any other way on the planet, in the Dharma realm.
As for lying karma, I’m not talking. Hope that stops the leak. (Letter to the Master follows)
(Logo of D.R.B.A.)
June 16 Dear Shih Fu,
We are three miles outside of Malibu and making our way along the gutters and driveways of the Pacific Coast Highway.
Now that we’re on open road with the traffic flying by, the truth of the proverb "When you get to the mountain, there’s sure to be a road," is really evident. What looks to the eye like a totally impassable section of road for monks and pedestrians, from your knees looks very different. Bowing space always appears-naturally and effortlessly before us. It’s pretty amazing. Other people come up and say, "You bowed through there? Where?" I hope it is the same when we encounter the super-highway.
Shih Fu, the visit to Gold Wheel Temple gave us a great deal of inspiration and tuned our work in wonderful ways. To witness the Master’s selflessness, his virtue and compassion causes great delight. At Gold Mountain it is easy to rely on the Master’s constant presence and his every-day sample of virtuous conduct. Away from Gold Mountain, out here on the road, meeting and having to deal with people coming from all directions, skill and eloquence, his mastery of human mature and his penetration of others’ conditions and potentials. Most uncanny in the Sage is the strength of water: it never struggles at any point. It yields, takes the last place, the lowest place, accords with all conditions but never moves. This is easy to speak of, exceptionally difficult to practice and most awesome to witness in combination with wisdom and compassion. I find myself asking: "What would Shih Fu do in a situation like this?" The answer: "Don’t false think! Never mind! What are you going to do? You can’t climb on your Teacher’s conditions all your life. Stand on your own feet! Use your own best wisdom! Accord with conditions and do not move! Turn the light back, be patient and don’t get angry swo pwo he. Be like water. The soft overcomes the hard.
Disciple Heng Sure bows in reverence