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June 21, 1979
Duncan's Landing, California
Dear Shih Fu,
At the end of the day, a man in a van stopped. He said, "I've been watching you. I figure you're trying to make atonement for the sins of men. Why don't you join the Peace Corps or help the poor? Oh well...you're doing your thing, I guess."
On the surface, it might look like cultivation is just "doing your own thing," but it's really doing something for everybody. Why is there war and suffering in the world? Because of selfishness and the "always more" desire mind. Why is there poverty and injustice? It's also because of false thoughts of greed, anger, and ignorance. All the hassles and problems of the world begin in the mind. If I don't clean up my own mind and end the war inside my own heart, how can I possibly help the world? Reducing desire is getting rid of wars. Stopping false thinking inside is really helping the entire world outside. As it says,
Small worlds are just large worlds;
large worlds are nothing but small worlds.
An inexpressible number of worlds
enters into a single world; a single world
enters into an inexpressible number of
worlds.
Avatamsaka Sutra
My small world of greed fattens the big greed in the world. My small anger and ignorance feed the larger worlds of hatred and stupidity. How is the large world going to change if I don't change my small world? It's all woven together. If I hold precepts purely, then there's a small world of good that can "enter into an inexpressible number of worlds." My small concentration adds to a larger stillness and universal peace. If I can cultivate wisdom, then the good in the world increases naturally. If I don't recognize and change my faults, this bad energy pollutes the world in the same way and touches everyone and everything without my directly wishing it or even knowing it.
Cultivation is for all living beings in all worlds to the limits of empty space.
I didn't always see it this way. But last week a young family near Tomales put me back in touch with parts of my life I hadn't seen clearly before.
The family lives on a small farm in a little valley. Their lives are wholesome and basic. With their four children, they raise most of their own food. They have gone "back to the earth," living naturally with traditional values and morality. Everything about their lives and home says, "With few desires, know contentment." They made an offering of food and water as we bowed by and said, "Thank you." Everyone was healthy, happy, and simple. Clear eyes, clear faces. Their blessings were obvious and abundant. Blessing retribution like this comes from good roots planted in the past. People whose lives are happy and free of disasters and distress held the moral precepts in the past. Healthy, loyal children, the absence of enemies, and a peaceful mind come from having cultivated the Paramitas of Giving, Morality, Patience, Vigor, Concentration, and Wisdom. Like causes, like results. Everything that happens to you is the fruit of seeds planted in the past. Tomorrow is being set up today.
All retribution is born of karma.
-- Avatamsaka
This happy, "rich" family led me to reflect on my own roots and blessings. I came from a good family and had many blessings. For a few years in college, I took a wrong road and nearly exhausted my blessings. When good roots are deep and blessings rich, they can open the door to leaving the home-life and cultivating the Way. This is the highest field of blessings. It surpasses the best of worldly wealth and happiness. But enjoying those blessings cancels them. I turned away from chances to cultivate because I couldn't put down my mind for "more, always more." I straddled the fence until I nearly came apart at the seams. Clinging to greedy desire on one hand and trying to reach for wisdom with the other gave birth to a strange creature: a creature trying to end suffering with more suffering. He broke precepts, turned his back on his parents and teachers, drew near bad companions, and looked lightly on cause and effect like it was a game. Indulging in hedonism, he mocked and mooched from the world. He sat in between the true and false, the pure and defiled, and took the worst from both--like tea steeped in lukewarm water.
I couldn't see at the time that I was trying to get free by rebellion, license, and leisure. I cut off morality, concentration, and wisdom and cultivated greed, hatred, and stupidity day and night, without fatigue.
So, as we bowed down the road past this little farm, I thought of those few upside-down years and how I nearly wiped out my natural inheritance. I saw how wrong and selfish I had been. There was no one to blame but myself. And yet, here I was, happy and lucky, a Buddhist monk bowing with a good companion to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. How could this be!? I think it's because no matter how far from the true and proper you drift, a single act of goodness--a single thought of repentance and reform--can turn it all around and put you back in the Buddha's field of blessings. The Buddha's field of blessings levels all differences, voids all transgressions and eradicates all afflictions. It can cause everyone to be delighted and peaceful. With a single thought, one can turn around and go back home. The Buddha's field of blessings does not come or go, we just neglect it. It doesn't reject anyone, just like the great earth.
Just as the earth is all one, yet it
puts forth sprouts each according to the
seed, and it does not prefer or reject any
of them, so it is with the Buddha's field
of blessings,
Avatamsaka Sutra
Peace in the Way,
Disciple Kuo T'ing
(Heng Ch'au)
bows in respect
P.S.: Just as murky water clears up when still, if we cultivate for real, then the waters of the mind will naturally turn pure. I shouldn't worry, pretend, or grab for self-benefit. Seeking more and running out for the biggest and the best just brings loss and trouble. I've always recited this "Sutra": "more, more, always more," and got no satisfaction. Now I'm learning to recite "Everything's okay, no problem. Whatever comes is enough." Things are getting better.
P.P.S. I've been trying to curb my tongue in order to catch my wild mind. But not talking and trying to be hu fa (Dharma Protector) has its humorous moments. Last week George Miller from the Bay Ranch invited us to stop by when we got to his place. We don't accept invitations to visit with people, so we didn't plan on stopping. But, when we bowed past the ranch, a little boy came out and said,
"Hi. I'm Peter Miller. Can you come to our house?" I figured he was old enough to read, so I wrote a note: "No. We don't visit." Peter looked at the note carefully and said,
"Good! Are you coming right away?" I wrote another note: "We can't visit because we made a promise not to."
He looked at this note and nodded like he understood and said,
"Oh, good! What time do you think you'll be coming, then?" he said brightly.
Peter can't read. So I indicated, "Okay, we'll stop by at 7:00," pointing to the 7:00 on my watch. Peter nodded and was very pleased.
Peter can't tell time, either.
At 5:00 he returned and watched us meditate and sew our robes. He kept looking at a picture of Kuan Yin Bodhisattva hanging in the car window and said, "Are you coming now? We have lots of water. You can bring all your jugs and fill 'em up." We went.
The offering of water made it okay--it wasn't a visit and we didn't go up to the farmhouse and socialize. Peter was very happy. He showed us his goats and made an offering of matches and carrots. Somehow without words or clocks or any hurt feelings, everything worked out okay. Another lesson in getting along.
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