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15 May 18, 1979
Marconi Cove
Dear Shih Fu,
Today was quiet and solitary. The sound of a ship's bell blowing in the wind from one of the small fishing boats anchored in the bay. A dead snake lying in the road. A four-day fog lifted. A resolve to work harder: bow more single-mindedly and really stop the false flow. To be one with a truly pure heart--how fine! Bowing with one heart is home. Leaving home is home.
I give rise to happiness because I have
left all grounds of ordinary people far behind.
I give rise to happiness because I draw near
the Grounds of Wisdom. -- Avatamsaka
Inside, a peaceful feeling from being right here where I'm supposed to be.
A bag of fruit and fresh flowers hanging on the car door at the end of the day. Inside is a note:
I'm a foolish old woman who has
spent most of her life in darkness.
Three years ago, I was given a
peek at enlightenment, and at this
point I'm trying to incorporate
truth into my daily life. It's not
easy. I ask for your prayers.
signed, "Baraka Bashad"
Peace in the Way,
Disciple Kuo T'ing
(Heng Ch'au)
bows in respect
13 May, 1979
Dear Shih Fu,
Flower Garland Features
presents
The Longest-Running Film in
the Dharma Realm--
THE BODHI-DRAMA
Starring,
The Self-Nature
* * *
Everything you meet is a manifesta-
tion of your own mind.
Master Hua
February
1979
The mind of a cultivator does not allow for a thought of affliction. One selfish thought brings demons, like a bleeding fish draws sharks. One angry thought explodes like a bomb, showering my mind with painful fragments in all directions. One critical thought feels like I've stepped into a pit of spiders--all my thoughts turn in on me and trap me in a web. It's a horrible sensation. One thought of worry or doubt puts me all alone at the ends of the world without the sun. These states are as real as the weather outside. If I let them dwell inside, they manifest as flesh and blood demons before my eyes.
Just like a vision of the Guiding Master
in his many forms and distinctions, accord-
ing to what beings practice in their minds,
their visions of Buddhalands follow suit.
-- Avatamsaka
But, all it takes is to return the light and swing the vajra jewelled sword, and all states return to spring. A positive thought of kindness, compassion, joy, and giving brings the Buddha's sunlight back to our hearts, just that quickly. The relief we feel is measureless and boundless.
My self-nature contains all dharmas. Originally it is pure and still, but I make discriminations in my mind. All dharmas are level and equal, but I go ahead and discriminate in my thoughts due to ignorance. Ignorance arises out of desire. Desire thoughts set up a self--someone exists who wants to move out of the center and get something. Desire creates selfishness, greed follows right behind. Greed is a poison; it has the power to ruin the entire world. But, yet, it still comes from nowhere but my own thoughts.
All retribution is born from karma.
It's like a dream, unreal, untrue.
Thought after thought is over and gone.
As was the former, the latter is the
same. -- Avatamsaka
All troubles and afflictions, and ultimately birth and death follow this same highway out of one's own unmoving, perfect self-nature. It happens in thought after thought. It's like a movie that I watch all the time in my mind. When I take it as real and let it go out my senses, I project in on the world. Then I've just bought a ticket to the melodramatic farce of suffering. No matter whether the movie is a comedy or a tragedy, it still falsely sets up a self that feels suffering or bliss and discriminates among dharmas.
The fruits of retribution come from
the karma that you create. But, the
creator does not exist. This is what
all Buddhas tell us. -- Avatamsaka
When I follow instructions and use the Buddhadharrna to return thoughts to, the screen before they run out the sense-gates, everything's okay. Cultivation is all about practicing a method to turn back these thoughts as they arise. Concentration is the ticket. My own thoughts are the whole movie. Pull them back and the film breaks. The Dharrna Realm dissolves, because there's no self to perceive it. Desire is the glue that sticks the film together, scene after scene. End the desire and we step right out of the film, free to come and go. Not that thoughts stop, but they don't push us around any more. We direct the film, instead of being directed by it. Originally there is nothing that needs to be done. It all rolls on by very naturally, without a word, without a self, without a problem.
What kind of film is it that we contemplate? It depends on the seeds we plant. Buddhahood is nothing but a thought of perfect humanhood. The hells are made from afflicted and stupid thoughts.
Last night as I sat in the Plymouth during evening recitation, my mind fell into a snakes' den of doubts. The pressure and mental discomfort grew unbearable instantly. I checked, and sure enough I had dropped my vajra- sword and stopped my concentration on the practice of returning the light. I was letting my thoughts drift. Like a ship without a rudder, I was heading for the reef. I thought, "I've been through this movie before, it is a horror story about greed, fear, and selfish desire. STOP IT!" Up went the sword. Snick! The energy behind the negative doubts came back to center and I laughed out loud. It was all my own ignorance after all, pushing me around again, making me dance like a puppet on strings.
How unexpected! The self-nature is
originally complete in itself...
How unexpected! The self-nature can
produce the ten thousand dharmas...
The Sixth Patriarch's Sutra
What a funny film! Sometimes it's looney-tunes, sometimes it's a melodrama, sometimes it's a travelogue through the Three Paths of Suffering, sometimes it's a holy epic. It's all my film, but I can't find myself in it anywhere. When I've got the kung fu together, I can sit back and contemplate it reeling by. More often than not, however, I forget it's a movie, stop cultivating, pick out a scene I want, or run from one I dislike, and wham! The express train of false thoughts flattens another ignorant living being. Be still, Kuo Chen. Just be happy, cultivate, and watch the show!
You have to learn to see all
things as "no affair". Observe
the rise and fall of conditioned
dharmas with complete detachment.
Everything's okay.
Master Hua
November 1977
Disciple Kuo Chen
(Heng Sure)
bows in respect