Bowing Journals | Top | << Back | Next >> | End
May, 1979
Stinson Beach, Olema,
Pt. Reyes Station and points north
Dear Shih Fu,
As for the place of language of all
beings, ultimately there is nothing
within it to obtain. If you understand
that the labels are all discriminations,
you clearly see that all dharmas are
totally without a self.
-- Avatamsaka Sutra
Bowing along a deserted stretch of highway--Mt. Tamalpais National Forest to the right, Pacific Ocean to the left--crisp, blue morning air, silent and pure. Inside my mind, just the opposite: a regular circus of sophistry, foolish debate about what to cultivate in order to cut off discriminating thought and reach the place of selflessness.
Walking under a great burden of instructions, all misunderstood. Checking every step, every step with principles, got to do it just right. Right? Wrong! Why? Because thinking is not the cure for false thoughts. Every time I think I've got myself and cultivation all figured out, I haven't. It's the figuring out that is false. To discriminate with words about words is an endless maze, a trap of afflictions, a dead-end and a big drag.
What's wrong here? It's attaching to the greedy notion that within the realm of words and thoughts there is something to get. It's seeking, and as the Sutra says, "Ultimately there is nothing to obtain."
I applied this verse to my mental block, and bingo! The whole circus-tent fell silent. My mind felt suddenly light as a breeze.
At the place of seeking nothing,
there are no worries.
It's all a play! None of it is real. Ha! I get so uptight seeking this or that small advantage and then catch myself in the act. Affliction is Bodhi, but it takes work to flip it over.
The Bodhisattva knows it's all a big play. He doesn't get hung up in the props, he doesn't get attached to the sets or the scenery, he doesn't take his lines seriously. He wants to let everyone else in on the secret: don't get attached to any dharmas, including the body. None of it lasts. As soon as you take any part of the world as real and true you're in for suffering.
The basic truth of the Buddhadharma: all existence is suffering because of the accumulation of ignorance and desires. It's based on the false view that "me" and "mine" exist, and it comes home to me every time I try to control the world with force in my thoughts, in my speech, in my actions. When I let it all go and just cultivate the Way with a happy, pure heart, everything works out just right.
The fruit of retribution comes from the
karma that we create.
But the creator does not exist.
This is what all Buddhas tell us.
--Avatamsaka Sutra
That's the secret. The Bodhisattva uses the Dharma which tells him that all states are level and equal, empty and selfless. And with this wisdom he is liberated from suffering. With no self, who worries? With no self, who feels pain? What is there to desire when the self no longer seeks advantages for "old #1"?
The average person, before he begins to cultivate, might hear this and say, "But how can this be so? Look at the stack of unpaid bills on my desk! Look at the newspapers full of endless evil and suffering! Look at those bags under my eyes. I've got to go run the rat-race again today and I'm sick of it! Here's the Sutra telling me it's a play. How can I believe it?"
It's like s pure bright mirror.
Depending on the object that stands
before it,
The different images
And the nature of karma is the same...
So, why not put down the false and cultivate the Way? Why don't I realize the Buddhadharma's supreme place of pure, still, level equality? Why not, indeed?! It's because from past lives since beginningless time I have been trapped on stage, wandering through the endless acts of the Big Play. Covered by doubts, pushed by fears, I haven't believed in the road to escape. Cultivation is totally up to the individual. As I plant the seeds, so do I harvest the fruit.
...It's like the seeds planted in a field.
The seeds do not know of each other.
Yet, they naturally grow forth by
themselves.
And the nature of karma is the same
-- Avatamsaka Sutra
The Buddhas and Bodhisattvas patiently tell us over and over again, "Everything's okay. Basically there's no problem, but we make all our troubles by ourselves. Stop the mind's chatter and all things are done."
I can write of this very easily today. But, due to my heavy karma of ignorance and seeking, I'm very likely to go out and start forcing the Way in my thoughts again today. I did it yesterday, and caught a cage-full of demons. I'll continue to do it until the seeds I've planted in the past are exhausted. Meanwhile, I'm not going to stop my practices and wail over bad luck and past stupidity. I want to plant good seeds now. My faith in the Buddha's field of blessings grows stronger each day.
We were bowing in gale winds this week, faces black with dust and grit, concentrating on our dan tyan "gyroscopes" in the center of the body so as not to be blown backwards each time we stood up. A man stopped his pickup truck and said, "Amazing. You just use your mind to overcome all obstacles and pain, eh?"
I thought, "Yeah, and isn't it funny how the mind is also the source of the obstacles of pain?" If you know it's all a play and don't let your mind attach to good or run from bad, just go out and cultivate pure practices to benefit others, then obstacles and pain don't stop you, and they don't make you unhappy. It's all level and equal. It doesn't hurt less, but it doesn't bother you anymore. Nothing is a problem, not even birth and death. It doesn't matter anymore. "If you can truly understand 'Everything's okay,' just that is wonderful beyond words," said the Master last month near Bolinas Lagoon.
The Sutra says,
If one can, while in the mundane
world.
Leave behind all attachments and
be happy,
With an uobstructed mind,
Then one can get enlighted in
the Dharma.
-- Avatamsaka
The man asked, "You don't have any special gear that you use?" I thought, "In fact, we do. This precept sash makes the return possible. We have a Sutra that shows us the Way. We have a Good and Wise Advisor who protects us and gives us instruction. We have a growing heart of faith in the Triple Jewel. We have a sense of shame for how long it has taken us to wake up and get to work cultivating for real. This is all gear. But it's available to everyone.
Disciple Kuo Chen
(Heng Sure)
bows in respect
* * *