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March 28, 1979
Dear Shih Fu,
Truly recognize your own faults
and don't discuss the faults of
others. Other's faults are just
my own. Being of one substance
with everything is called Great
Compassion. --Master Hua
Shih Fu, it's funny that I can't criticize anyone anymore. Every time I see something to criticize these days, I get an immediate feedback in my mind that says, "Wait a minute, don't you recall when you did the very same thing yourself? How can you stand apart from anyone and judge them? Return the light. Those are your own faults you are looking at and disapproving of." For example, I'll see a sports car driver speeding around a curve and think, "How can he put himself and others in danger like that, just for thrills?" Then I remember how I used to drive fast cars--no difference. Return the light. Don't fight.
I'll see tourists hop out of cars, run up and photograph the Golden Gate Bridge or the scenic coastline and then jump back in their vehicles and zoom away without ever actually looking at the sights, without ever being there. It seem like such an empty exercise. Then I get my warning buzzer: "Don't criticize! Return the light. I used to live far away from the present. Stuck in worries, dreams, and future fantasies, my feet rarely touched the ground. Who am I to criticize anyone else? It's only my own bad habits that I'm seeing and rejecting." What's going on here? It's called "attaching to appearances" and being confused by false thoughts. The Sutra explains it like this:
All worlds in all directions are comp- pletely created by the distinctions made in their thoughts. As for both thoughts and non-thoughts, there is nothing that can be obtained. In this way the Bodhisattva understands thought." -- Avatamsaka Sutra
I spent so many years being pushed around by my false thoughts! I felt there had to be a plan in advance for every action. I made lists of projects and nailed down details before I made a move. Of course, I was never very happy. I was too bound up by the chatter of my mind. At every hand I sought self-benefit. I knew the score before I played the game. Take a loss? Never.
Why did I always feel tired and burdened down? Because discriminating right and wrong, chasing benefit and running from the fear of loss takes a lot of energy. And ultimately it's in vain. There is never an end to rights and wrongs. Only by giving up the chase for self-benefit does the mind find peace.
On San Bu Yi Bai, the Master's basic instruction to us has been "Don't do any false thinking." "Don't think." Why? Because the Ego, the Self that seeks advantage is a phantom, an illusion that lives only in our thoughts. The Ego is the boss that pushes us into the ridiculous pursuit of benefit and fame. When thoughts stop and the Ego disappears, everywhere is peaceful. Al dharmas suddenly look flat and empty. All appearances longer needs to separate and name the world, there's no more Self to defend. The demons are subdued and every day is happy.