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May 18, 8:00 a.m.
Dear Shih Fu,
We appreciate the wonderful weather that the dragons are sending Los Angeles. It's not too hot and not too cold.
We are very tired in body, but very happy in mind. Every joint, muscle, and limb is speaking its own pain-dharma but this will gradually disappear as the work progresses and our bodies adjust. We fall asleep every night after reciting the Shurangama Mantra, totally exhausted, but the next morning wake up at 4:00 feeling energized and ready to work again. We have increased the bowing time gradually each day: yesterday was six and three quarters hours. The problem in the city is trying to find a parking place for our Bodhimanda/van, and then walking back to the bowing site. It really eats up the rest periods.
Although we are tired, it helps keep us mindful. It is a small problem and it feels good to be working.
Yesterday we received lunch offerings from the L.A. lay disciples and each time it is a humbling experience. We have not merit and virtue of our own. We are simply borrowing the Venerable Abbot's merit to receive the treatment we get. Truly, if it were not for the faith these lay people have in the Venerable Abbot, this trip would be impossible. We would have starved already, or been robbed and beaten each night we stop to rest.
By returning the light this way it makes clear the responsibility for us to be left-home people at all times - to learn how to behave correctly with lay-people, with other left-home people, with Americans, with all people. It is time for us to learn how to stand up for Buddhism on our own, to take responsibility for the teaching we have received and to do it correctly.
Proper conduct is hard work, just as hard as bowing and we are happy for the chance to learn it.
6:00 a.m.
Dear Shih Fu,
One of the laymen is going to Gold Mountain today so this will be a quick note. We are making slow progress - about ten city blocks per day. We are now in the center of downtown L.A. and although the buildings are large and the sidewalks are broad, we find it a tougher neighborhood than Lincoln Heights or Chinatown. The rich people do not want us on their sidewalks and they radiate a kind of depersonalized hatred at seeing two monks being repentant beneath their feet. A well-dressed woman in her forties stamps by, inches from our heads and fingers and shouts through clenched teeth, "Where do you think you are, Mecca? That is disgusting in the United States!" Heng Ch'au isn't talking to people who don't ask sincere questions, but his answer to this woman could have been, "Yes, you're right. And that's just he problem. Until it's no longer disgusting, this country is in trouble."
Sleeping at night in this city is a very tense business. We try to find spots to park our van near to the bowing site but last night another thief stuck his hand in the open window. He went away quietly when we shut the window. We were awake at the time and ready to do morning recitation, but it is still an unsettling experience. Heng Ch'au tells me I woke up last night and began talking in my sleep about "waiting for the hu fa's (Dharma Protectors) on the corner of the block by the bank." He says I talked in Chinese for three minutes before going to sleep. I was rattling away while sound asleep.
Our appetites have decreased. We are eating less and bowing more. Our pace is slow - the same speed as when we request the Sutra-lecture Dharma at Gold Mountain. This is a wonderful method of cultivation.
disciples Heng Sure and
Heng Ch'au bow in respect