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hour of meditation to reflect on the repent of my stupidity. Since I had broken the rules once, now I had to do it again to announce my error and apologize. I wrote, “Writing that note was a real mistake.

  1. It slanders the Triple Jewel, by calling our appearance 'wasted' and 'in rags.' That breaks Bodhisattva Precept #10, 'Do not slander the Triple Jewel.'
  2. It plants doubt-seeds in your mind ('Does Heng sure really feel that way about what we’re doing?')
  3. It maintains my old bad habit of holding a superior and critical attitude towards others. In fact, I don't feel that way about you. The note was sarcastic, discompassionate slap at your friend. In fact, Bhikshu robes are the finest clothes I could wish for. Moreover, I wouldn't trade our work for any king’s realm. Now I have to start by not writing such ignorant bad-karma notes.

All I can say is that it was too early in the morning. I didn’t have my thought-chopping sword drawn yet. An idle, nasty thought manifested as the note. Sorry for the hassle. ‘Others’ faults are just my own.’”

Cultivating the Way to Genuine Good Health

Cultivation is the road back to genuine health, Sutras are the medicine. The Venerable Abbot works like a good doctor, prescribing the most efficacious remedy for whichever of the eight-four thousand types of afflictions obstruct an individual’s way back to peace and happiness.

Originally, all the medicine we need for a complete cure of big disease—birth and death—we already possess inside ourselves, but we don’t see it, don’t know how to use it, because of attachments to bad habits and upside-down false thoughts. The teacher-doctor comes in to tell us, 1. that we are sick; 2. that the cause of out sickness is looking outside of our nature for happiness; 3. that there is a cure available; and, 4.that he cure is cultivation of the Buddhadharma.

Then, because the doctor is kind and compassionate, he gives us the medicine perfectly suited to our needs. But, it’s up to us to be brave and take the medicine prescribed. At this point, practice of the Dharma becomes self-therapy, self-healing.

I have to remember that I am sick, must keep my faith in the efficacy of the cure, and must keep taking the medicine. The resolve for health follows faith in the doctor and the cure, and then steady practice allows the cure to happen. Faith, vows, and practice are the prescription for total well-being.

Our passage through Santa Cruz this month has been a mirror of the first stages of the Buddhadharma’s cure. I reflected long on my past conduct in terms of my Master’s teachings and the Sutra’s model of Bodhisattva conduct. Bowing through Santa Cruz, it takes no effort at all to recognize that I am really sick. My past conduct reads like a checklist of the ten evil acts. I have done what demons do: killing, stealing, lust, lying, and taking intoxicants. It’s not to say that I have changed since I began to practice good health. But now I recognize how far wrong I’ve gone and how strong my habits are that still lead me away from health towards my old sicknesses. These habits are strong and not easy to change. But, I want to become a true disciple of Buddha. No matter how long I have to take the medicine, I am determined to get well again. The master’s state of happiness and health, and the radiant goodness of the Bodhisattvas that live in the Avatamsaka Sutra are simply wonderful—to realize their state of well-being is what I want most of all.