A Key To End Sorrow
Una clave para acabar con la pena
--por J. Krishnamurti
La petición de estar seguro en una relación inevitablemente engendra tristeza y miedo. La búsqueda de la seguridad invita a la inseguridad. ¿Alguna vez has encontrado seguridad en alguna de tus relaciones? ¿Lo has hecho? La mayoría de nosotr@s queremos la seguridad de amar y ser amad@s, pero ¿Dónde está el amor cuando cada un@ de nosotr@s está buscando su propia seguridad, su propio camino particular? No somos amad@s porque no sabemos amar.
En las relaciones, con demasiada frecuencia lo que decimos es: "Mientras me pertenezcas, te amo, pero en el momento en que no sea así empezaré a odiarte. Siempre que pueda confiar en ti para satisfacer mis demandas, tanto sexuales como de otro tipo, te amaré. Pero en el momento en que dejes de proporcionarme lo que quiero, ya no me gustarás ". Si dependes de otr@ para todo tu placer, eres un esclavo de esa persona. Entonces, cuando un@ ama, debe haber libertad, no solo del otr@, sino de un@ mism@.
Esta pertenencia a otr@, siendo alimentada psicológicamente por otr@, dependiendo de otr@ -en todo esto siempre tiene que haber ansiedad, miedo, culpa y celos, y mientras haya miedo no puede haber amor; una mente llena de dolor nunca sabrá lo que es el amor; El sentimentalismo y la emotividad no tienen nada que ver con el amor. Y así, el amor no tiene que ver con el placer y el deseo. El amor no es el producto del pensamiento que es el pasado. El pensamiento no puede cultivar el amor. El amor es siempre presente activo. Si conoces el amor, no seguirás a nadie. El amor no obedece. Cuando amas no hay respeto ni falta de respeto. ¿Sabes lo que significa amar a alguien: amar sin odio, celos, miedo, ira o querer interferir en lo que un@ está haciendo o pensando, sin condenar o comparar?
¿El amor tiene responsabilidad y deber, y usará estas palabras? Cuando haces algo por deber, ¿Hay amor en ello? En el deber, no hay amor. La estructura del deber en la que acabam@s atrapados con el tiempo nos destruye. Siempre que estás obligad@ a hacer algo porque es tu deber, no te gusta lo que estás haciendo. Cuando hay amor, no hay deber ni responsabilidad.
¿Alguna vez has llorado por otr@? Si lloras por autocompasión, tus lágrimas no tienen sentido porque solo te preocupas por ti mism@. Si lloras porque estás privad@ de alguien en quien has invertido mucho afecto, no fue realmente afecto. La pena la crea un@ mism@, la pena la crea el pensamiento, la pena es el resultado del tiempo.
Puedes ver que todo esto sucede dentro de ti si realmente lo miras. Puedes verlo enteramente, completamente, con una sola mirada, sin necesidad de tomarte tiempo para analizarlo. Puedes ver en un momento toda la estructura y la naturaleza de esta pequeña cosa de mala calidad llamada "yo". Mis lágrimas, mi familia, mi nación, mi creencia, mi religión -toda esa fealdad, todo está dentro de ti. Cuando lo ves con tu corazón, no con tu mente, cuando lo ves desde el fondo de tu corazón, entonces tienes la llave que acabará con la pena..
Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de que cuando un@ ama, debe haber libertad del otr@ y también de un@ mism@? ¿Puedes compartir una experiencia personal de un momento en que sentiste amor sin odio, celos, miedo, enfado, condena, comparación o deseo de interferir? ¿Qué te ayuda a ver la fealdad desde el fondo de tu corazón?
por J. Krishnamurti,
by J. Krishnamurti, excerpted from here.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that when one loves, there must be freedom from another and also from oneself? Can you share a personal experience of a time you felt love without hate, jealousy, fear, anger, condemnation, comparison or wanting to interfere? What helps you see the ugliness inside from the very bottom of your heart?
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8 Past Reflections
On Sep 4, 2023 Thrineshwara M R wrote :
If one is loving something or somebody then there must be no reason at all to love because, if at all there is a reason then when that reason is not met or fulfilled there will not be any love at all. That means love becomes conditional. Love is causeless and hence thought cannot willingly love or cultivate love. Love is either there in someone or it is not there.
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On May 22, 2023 Vandana Gupta wrote :
Herein lies the key to understanding ourselves and our relationship with another. To love and yet, being aware of any negative emotions that arise as the 'what is', neither accepting nor rejecting what I experience at that moment. Aware, without a comparison to an ideal.
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On Apr 17, 2019 Sandip Sheta wrote :
Selfless acts are a source of profound meaning for your self and your life.
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On Apr 16, 2019 Queen Bee wrote :
While I agree with the basic context of what you're describing, loving another person if the relationship is physical could lead to the end of your life or cause an incurable disease if someone has an extra physical relationship. The duty we all have is not to bring harm to anyone but especially not someone who cares for us. We have a duty to be honest with ourselves and others and while that may be uncomfortable and not very fun, it's the rule of treat others how you want to be treated. Why is it bad to expect someone to keep their end of an agreement? We give love and want love and the right thing to do is remove yourself if you can't commit to someone who loves you. For love to exist there must be mutual trust and without trust there is no love because self protection should be instinctive. So find someone who shares your values because we can love more than one in our lifetime once we get passed the hurt and disappointment of someone who doesn't value themselves eno... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Merv | Post Your Reply
On Apr 13, 2019 david Doane wrote :
The notion that when you love, there must be freedom from another and also from oneself is right on. It means when you love you still maintain your independence and freedom, you are still you, you are not dependent or manipulative, not goal directed, and are simply true to yourself. I have had periods of love without hate, jealousy, fear, anger, condemnation, comparison or wanting to interfere, and have had some periods of love when one of those feelings occurs and can be part of love if I own it and express it as what I am experiencing in that moment and continue to be me, not try to change or control or do anything to myself or the other. What helps me see what is called the ugliness inside is being open and true to myself, trusting my experience, trusting the process, trusting truth, not getting hooked on some agenda, and continuing to honestly be me. I do that at times -- practice helps,.
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On Apr 12, 2019 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
Love cannot be bound by any conditions or demands. Such conditions or expectations cause ugliness in our heart. Freedom is selfless love-free from the bondage of our own selfish desires and expectations and freedom from the bondage of other's selfish desires and expectations. I experience such a gift of unconditional love in my everyday life with people close to me. I extend my helping hand and reach out to serve them and they do the same thing for me. There is no demand, no expectation, no condition, no anger, no fear, no anxiety. Such experience nourishes both, the giver and the receiver. When I watch a bubble of of anger, fear or anxiety arising in me, I become aware of its hold on me. I mindfully process such emotionsand release them. I become free from my self-created bondage which creates deep joy and bliss in me.
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave
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On Apr 11, 2019 sheetal wrote :
Love, the most potent, required, given, taken, shared, element/feeling/emotion/state that every living being aspires to dwell in. Carefully observed, the whole world and all stories that everyone has somewhere has "love" as the foundation to it..whether the narrative begins with "i am not loved" or "i feel totally loved". The passage tries to show us movement from first narrative to the second. In one of my relationships, i struggled for 4 years with the first narrative, i would do something to be loved in return or i would demand love in return to all i was giving? Or to fulfill the call of duty towards love i would act. The person who i am connected with did not show much appreciation, gratitude or concern to any of these behaviors of mine. I was heartbroken and irritated at this insensitivity and wanted to break up. But God is kind and always shows the way, i just took to silence from everything. I did not break up but went into a zone of careful self i... [View Full Comment]